Happy 20-infinity Birthday, Marshall

In honor of Marshall's earthy birthday today, our family shared thoughts and memories about him through email (since we couldn't all physically be together).  I wanted to share a few of those thoughts here on the blog.

Blanca shared a quote from A Story Unfinished by Matt Monney:

My boss, whose firstborn son Eliot lived for 99 days, recently wrote a book that talks about his family's journey before, during, and after Eliot. He shares some thoughts at the end that encouraged me, and I wanted to share them with you all as well:

"Eternity is not a fantasyland warm fuzzy for me. As a believer, I maintain - with white-knuckled faith that defies my own logic - that heaven is a realm as real as the one I currently occupy. And I do not pretend to understand the dimensions, seemingly obscured by the One who knows. But I know enough; it is where the remaining portion of my yearning soul finds rest.

Jesus Christ has overthrown the power and effects of death.

I await the coming day when I join in the chorus questioning where death's sting has gone. The One who makes beauty from ashes in this world breathes life into ashes in the one to come. On this side we see in pieces the redemption that will one day come in full."

So thankful that there will come a day when we will all be reunited with Marshall and be in the presence of our Lord.

Note from Mom:

I had a "Marshall Moment" the other day. I had not had one for months. I had some errands to run. I had a specific item I wanted to purchase and I thought 2 stores might have it. One was Marshalls. I avoided shopping there for years because it made me sad, but I had gotten to the point I was ok with it - but that day it seemed too sad so I went to the other store. Found nothing so I had to go to Marshalls. Found exactly what I wanted but was starting to feel small waves of grief. The next place I needed to go was Best Buy to get a gift card. No one was at the checkout so I had to go find someone. He called someone else. The checkout guy that came was apologizing profusely for me having to wait but I couldn't say a word. His name was Marshall. It was all it could do not to burst into tears. He probably thought I was upset about waiting, but I couldn't tell him anything. I sat in my car and cried.

These moments still occur but they are rare. I still feel a longing to be with him at times but it is a sweet sadness. :-) I'm amazed at the healing God has done in my heart! I have more joy and contentment than I've ever had in my life. I can truly feel thankful for God summoning Marshall when He did and I love Jesus more now and feel more connected with Him.

I remember a sweet, little blond boy coming into my bedroom early every morning saying, "Mama, it's time for morning hugs." 

I am so thankful for the 20 years we had together. And the foundation of my joy is in the goodness, sovereignty and eternity of my loving Father.

Ursula shared a memory about Marshall at family meals with us on Sundays after church.  She felt comforted when Marshall (and the other boys) listened to her patiently when she shared her heart, even through crying.

"... I remember feeling so loved during times in college when I ate Sunday meals with y'all, and I often cried about something uncontrollably, and everyone (even the boys!) patiently listened to me...I would sheepishly look up, afraid to make eye contact with anyone, but whenever I looked at Marshall (or any of the boys), I was shocked that they were still sitting at the table, quiet. And if I made eye contact with any of them, they didn't give me a face of "oh your so stupid for crying." but just looked at me, with a look of waiting patiently. Being teenage boys (and younger), I figured they were probably dying inside, so wishing to be out playing and done listening to this girl crying, but they still sat there patiently waiting not giving me any kind of crazy look. I can't describe in words what that meant to me. I wasn't looking to be consoled ... yet God used them (and continues to use them) to really minister to my heart. And Marshall in particular stood out to me at the time because he was the oldest and of all the boys was a bit more "rough around the edges" in his personality. And the fact that he just sat there patiently waiting for me ... and not giving me mean looks, even if he was having negative thoughts and not showing them (or if he did make them and God hid them from me, haha!), he just sat and kindly waited, just soothed my heart! I was still embarrassed and hated crying, but my memory of him during those times continues to speak to my heart. To this day, I still feel shocked and loved at how all the boys, but particularly Marshall, would react to me when I cried."

Heidi: I can relate a lot to what Ursula is saying.  Marshall was certainly a patient listener.  He would just stay.  He was present.  Steady, calm, confident.  He never made me feel dumb for crying.  I remember crying after being in a fender bender on the way to school (Regents) and he was so calm through it all.  He wasn't worried about the car, or being late, or me reacting emotionally.  He was just like well, that's that, now let's go to school.  It was good steadiness for my ups and downs.

It is good to remember the boy and man God created and gave to us for 20 years.  I can't wait to meet the new Marshall, and I'm grateful his death makes me meditate on the eternal life we have in Christ Jesus!