By Kristin Hagen
Today would have been Marshall’s 28th birthday. I
was encouraged by God as I read 1 Samuel 1:28, where Hannah says of the son God
gave her, “I have lent him to the Lord.” (ESV) It helped me remember that we
will get Marshall back someday. But really, it was God lending Marshall to us
for 20 years! Our loved ones are not truly ours - they belong to their Creator.
God is very gracious to give us family and friends to love in this short life,
but we do not have a right to them.
From the time Marshall was little, I had a very strong
impression that he would never marry. I always felt that since he was my
first-born son, he was dedicated to the Lord in a special way. (Exodus 13:1) He
also always insisted that he did not want to get married . . . until he came
home from Iraq and announced that he wanted to start a “wife-fund” – a savings
account to accumulate enough to buy a house before he would ask someone to
marry him. (Next time I see him I want
to find out if he had anyone in particular in mind!) So I assumed that my
“impression” had not been something God had put on my heart . . . until
November 22.
I am thankful for the privilege of “lending” my sweet son to
the Lord. Oh the joy he must be experiencing! I am also thankful that God has
lightened my burden of grief in so many ways, but I think there will always be
a longing – still painful at times – for our reunion . . . until Jesus makes
everything sad become untrue.
